Girl Talk: A Mother’s Guide To Sexual Health Education

Introduction

The journey of growth for our daughters encompasses not only the physical changes they experience but also an understanding of their sexual and reproductive health. As parents, especially mothers, it’s important to guide them through this phase with accurate information, empathy, and support.

In this blog post, you will learn how to navigate the crucial conversations about sexual and reproductive health education with your daughter. This comprehensive guide aims to equip mothers with expert advice, tips, and resources to empower them and their girls with knowledge and confidence.

Understanding the Basics

To confidently address sexual and reproductive health education with your daughter, you first need to begin with foundational knowledge about the female body, its functions, and the changes that come with puberty. Then, explain the menstrual cycle, hygiene practices, and the emotional changes they might experience.

The female body and functions

The female reproductive system is made up of external organs (on the outside)and internal organs (on the inside). These organs are in charge of fertility, menstruation and sexual intercourse.

The external reproductive organs

The external organs – also called the external genitals, vulva – function to protect the internal organs from infection and to allow semen passage into the vagina.

The external genitals/vulva consist of:

• Labia majora: the large lips that surround and protect other external organs. At the time of puberty, hair grows on the skin of the labia majora.
• Labia minora: the small lips that lie just inside the labia majora. They surround the opening to the vagina. The skin is very fragile and hence, can get easily bruised. 
• Clitoris: the junction of the two lips of the labia minora. The clitoris is a small bulge comparable to penis in men. It is highly sensitive to touch and stimulation.
• Vaginal opening: surrounded by the two lips of the labia minora. It allows for the exit of menstrual blood and babies. On the other hand, it permits the entrance of tampons, penises, fingers, sex toys, etc into the vagina.
• Hymen: is a tiny piece of skin that covers the vaginal opening and is present during birth. Hymens vary from female to female. While most women have their hymens torn or stretched during their first sexual experience, some have already torn even before they have sex for the first time. 

The internal reproductive organs

• Vagina: is a muscular and hollow tube that connects the womb to the outside of the body (the vaginal opening). It is highly extendable, hence can allow the passage of a baby’s head during childbirth. 

The vagina has 3 main functions 

• It holds the penis during sexual intercourse.
• It serves as the birth canal through which a baby exits the womb during delivery.
• It is the pathway for menstrual blood during menses.

• Uterus: commonly known as the womb, is a pear-shaped organ. It is the site where menses is formed and also the part that contains the unborn baby during pregnancy. The womb’s entrance called the cervix is a very tiny opening. The opening is not wider than a drinking straw, and this is why a tampon cannot get lost in a woman’s body. However, it relaxes and opens up during childbirth to allow the passage of a baby.
• Ovaries: are two small, oval-shaped organs, each found on either side of the womb. They produce hormones that regulate puberty, menstruation and some other hormonal changes. They also produce eggs(ova) – through the process of ovulation – that can get fertilized resulting in pregnancy.
• Fallopian tubes: are two narrow tubes that connect the ovaries to the womb. They act as pathways for delivering the egg (ovum) from the ovaries to the womb when ovulation happens. This is where fertilization of an egg by a sperm usually happens.

Puberty in Girls

Puberty is a stage of rapid growth, terminating in the girl’s body reaching sexual and reproductive maturity. Apart from physical changes, emotional changes also occur during puberty.

Adapting to puberty may be burdensome for both young girls and their parents, but with good communication and support from family and friends, it can go rather seamlessly. To help your daughter navigate this period, you should learn about these changes and start conversations about them early.

The changes that occur during puberty are as a result of changes in the levels of certain hormones called sex hormones. These hormonal changes commence in the mid-primary school years (7 to 8 years), while pubertal changes begin between 10 and 13 years. Remember, every person is unique. One may start earlier than another.

Physical changes

Several changes occur to the body during puberty and include:

• Breast growth: usually the first noticeable body change. They may be tender and sore during this time and this is normal. It is also normal for breast growth to begin on one side before the other.
• Body shape: wider hips and curvier body
• Weight gain: This is because of the hormonal changes resulting in fat deposition in the breasts and hips.
• Height: Increases significantly.
• Acne: These are bumps that commonly show up on the face, neck, shoulders, upper back and chest. They may require treatment if problematic.
• Hair growth: hair appears in the armpits and pubic region.
• Vaginal discharge: because the vagina is a self-cleaning organ, your daughter may notice some clear discharge. This is normal and is a product of the self-cleaning process.
• Menstrual periods: The first menstrual period (menarche) usually happens within 2 to 3 years after the onset of breast development. The lining of the womb thickens in preparation for pregnancy.  If a pregnancy does not happen, this is shed over a few days (3 to 8 days) as menses. Initially, this may be irregular but gets regular gradually.

Some girls may have bright red blood in their first period, while others may experience red-brown discharge – both are normal. Cycle length is the first day of one period to the first day of the next period and it can be normal for it to be as short as 21 days or as long as 35 days.

It is recommended by ACOG (American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists), that you consult your healthcare provider if your girl has not started to menstruate at age 15, or does not have any pubertal changes by age 13.

• Menstrual cramps: abdominal cramps may start just before or at the beginning of menstrual periods. This is completely normal, except when the pain becomes unbearable. 
• Ovulation: this is the process by which a mature egg is released from one of the ovaries. This normally occurs on a monthly basis. If the egg is fertilized by a sperm, pregnancy occurs. If not, menstruation occurs.

Emotional changes

Emotional changes are critical in finding out their own moral values and identity. The common ones that you may notice in your girl include:

• Increased sense of self-awareness/being more conscious about looks
• Having sexual interest in others
• Changes in mood and sleep patterns.

The Menstrual Cycle

The menstrual cycle begins from the first day of one period and ends on the first day of the next period. As mentioned earlier, the duration can be as short as 21 days or as long as 35 days (average length is 28 days).

Ovulation usually happens on day 14, and for some women, this can be accompanied by lower abdominal discomfort, spotting or bleeding. This is not a cause for concern as it is normal.

Few days before and after ovulation is a fertile period, hence pregnancy is likely if sex happens during this time.

Menstrual Hygiene Practices

Teaching your daughter to maintain hygiene during menses is vital to promoting health. Ensuring healthy and hygienic habits during menses can fend off infections, minimize odors and guarantee comfortability throughout the period. These include:

• Washing the hands before and after using the ladies’ room
• Washing the hands before using a menstrual product.
• Changing the sanitary pad every 6 to 8 hours, it doesn’t matter how light the flow is. If flow is heavy, change more frequently.
• Changing tampons every 4 to 8 hours
• Cleaning menstrual cups daily after use. 
• Correctly disposing of used menstrual products. To do this, do not flush down the toilets. Rather, wrap them up with tissue or other material, and then trash in  a bin.
• Wearing breathable, lightweight underwear. Tight and thick underwear can trap moisture, enabling germs to thrive.
• Washing the genital area from front to back, not the other way round.
• Using only water to rinse the vagina as the vagina is self-cleansing.
• Using unperfumed tampons, pads, or toilet paper. Perfumed products can irritate the vagina and affect its pH balance.
• Staying hydrated. Drinking enough water will help flush out the system and prevent infections.
• Visit your doctor if she experiences unusual pain, change in odor, extremely heavier flow or longer period.

Menstrual products are used to collect/absorb menstrual blood. They include

• Sanitary pads
• Tampons
• Menstrual cups
• Menstrual discs
• Period underwear

Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS)

Physical and emotional signs and symptoms that a girl may experience following ovulation. Typically, they appear about a week before the onset of menses and can last up-to 5 days after menses begins.

Common signs and symptoms of PMS include: mood swings,tender and swollen breasts, food cravings, difficulty falling asleep, social withdrawal, bloating, acne flare-ups and fatigue.

For some girls, PMS is mild,  while for others, it is severe enough to affect their daily activities. 

Click to learn more about premenstrual syndrome 

Sexual Health Practices and Safety for Young Girls

The importance of discussing sexual health practices and safety

When it comes to sexual practices, adolescents and teenagers face many tough decisions. A lot of them turn to the internet, giving them access to diverse information. While some of these details may be correct, others may be misleading. 

A way out is for parents, especially mothers to access trusted sources and accurate knowledge which we can enlighten our daughters about. By doing this, our girls will acquire reliable information that will help them make the right decisions about their sexual health.

A recent research by The National Coalition for Sexual Health revealed that youths who have received sexual health education are more likely to delay sexual relationships, practice safe sex, and reduce the chances of unwanted pregnancies.

Practicing Safe Sex

Safe sex refers to a sex with the barest minimum risk of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and unwanted pregnancies by using barrier protection such as a condom. Although called “safe”, it can still carry some low risks for STDs. For example, condoms that are protective against HIV, chlamydia and gonorrhea are not comprehensively protective against herpes, or genital warts. Nevertheless, safe sex is far better and healthier than sex without protection.

Guidelines to Practicing Safe Sex

Educate your daughters that safe sex should be ensured at every sexual encounter. It involves not allowing the semen of their partner to enter their vagina, anus or mouth. These include:

• Using condoms: Use of condoms is the most important way of ensuring safe sex. Both male and female condoms are available, and either of them should be used correctly and consistently with every sexual act. Male condoms are most commonly used. Male and female condoms should not be used together as it can cause breakage. Condoms prevent body fluids -semen or vaginal fluid- from reaching the other person, hence protecting against sexually transmitted infections (STIs). It includes using a male or female condom during vaginal or anal sex, using a dental dam, condom or plastic wrap during oral sex. However, condoms can break, leak or spill. They also don’t fully protect against herpes and human papillomavirus (HPV) which can spread by skin contact.

• Having a single sexual partner: The more partners one has, the higher the chances of contracting an STI.
• Get her vaccinated: HPV infection can lead to cervical cancer. Fortunately, you can get your daughter vaccinated before she becomes sexually active, keeping her safe and protected.
• Regular screening: Getting tested regular for STIs is vital in ensuring sexual health.

Creating a Safe Space
Discussing sex and related topics with your daughter may not be comfortable. This could be due to cultural reasons, past negative experiences, lack of information or you may just be scared of saying the wrong things. You may not even know how to start the conversation.

Creating a safe space is a step in the right direction. It is a place that is free of bias, criticisms and non-judgemental. It gives your child room to feel completely comfortable, expressive, accepted and welcomed.

Conclusion

Opening the dialogue about sexual and reproductive health with your daughter can strengthen your relationship and empower her with the knowledge she needs to make informed decisions about her body and her life. This guide is a starting point for mothers looking to approach these essential conversations with confidence and care.

Begin the talk today. Choose a comfortable setting, listen actively, and share the journey of learning with your daughter. Your support and openness can pave the way for her to approach her sexual and reproductive health with confidence and responsibility.

References
https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/female-reproductive-system.html
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/gradeschool/puberty/Pages/Physical-Development-Girls-What-to-Expect.aspx
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/menstrual-cycle-an-overview#:~:text=The%20average%20menstrual%20cycle%20lasts,have%20any%20symptoms%20at%20all.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/periods/fertility-in-the-menstrual-cycle/
https://training.seer.cancer.gov/anatomy/reproductive/female